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I’ve worked with people who have been at the receiving end of this behaviour and every week I hear from someone new who’s right there, living it. It makes people shrink into themselves and limits life, and there’s no reason for it to happen.

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If you have thoughts about needing to stay still or be quiet you’ll feel small and powerless.

There’s a line between being able to brush off potentially damaging comments and not tolerating someone who puts you down; and that line is one that you own.

You brain normally takes the workload of perception off you, automatically taking the situation you’re in and creating a world of thought – and resultant feelings – based on what it pulls together from past experience, memory and its deep desire to be safe.

But if this is where you are, I think you understand that you need to start, even if it’s scary…

Remember that teaching them how to treat you doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic event. State the fact that you’re not willing to put-up with the way things have been.

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